I've been a parent for almost 11 weeks now and it hasn't been too bad. I think it's good that children do not arrive as teenagers; heaven knows we wouldn't have more than one child if they did.I am not a person who usually welcomes change or even seeks for it; I am a creature of habit and when my groove gets thrown off it's challenging for me to find my rhythm again. But it is amazing how a baby's smiling response can bring tears to tired eyes and how wonderful it feels to hold a clean infant in your arms as he drifts off to dreamland. Motherhood is full of surprises.
I have also been startled by the amount of extreme feminism that has crept into my thoughts. There have been days when I have sat in spit-up stained clothes with no make-up on my face or product in my hair and I've thought, "This is my life? I have diminished to be a walking burp rag for this helpless creature who doesn't appreciate my potential to be more than a feeding kiosk? I am capable of doing and being so much more in a 24-hour period. How has it come to this?" I have experienced moments of almost-shame that I am a full-time mother and wife. The connotation of that career title in our culture is a repressed woman living below her capabilities. "The world needs your talents and contributions," I can hear the feminists say, "You're selling yourself short! You could be impacting the lives of so many people if you took up your career in another field or industry besides motherhood." These thoughts whisper and hiss in my ears at least a few times a day.
This past weekend I attended the General Relief Society meeting and I went to church and attended my meetings there. The truth of the divine calling of women has begun to silence the murmurs and heckling. I feel more pride and pleasure in my choice than degradation or embarrassment. This weekend's spiritual nourishment reminded me of a talk from Sister Nadauld on the Joy of Womanhood:
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."
I am so grateful and blessed to be the mother of Makakoa. I know I will be able to impact more people by raising a good boy to become a good man than by taking up a career in some "other field."
